Farewells to Singapore

So...we're staying in Thailand.

After a year of uncertainty, getting back to Singapore at the right time has proven elusive, and we've had enough.

We've asked the kids several times and they said they don't mind staying or going but don't want to start the school year late. Totally understandable, considering the last two school years, they missed the first 2+ months and it was tough.

The success of Husband's company without him in Singapore is a bit less clear but not the end of the world. We may reassess things in the future.

My work is location-independent, so I'm fine. Singapore also recently decided they were no longer going to allow people on dependent visas to work locally, so that's no longer an attraction. And I have my friends and choirs here in Bangkok.

Our Thai family is happy we're staying. I suspect our Thai nanny is also somewhat relieved.

I am extremely grateful that we are going to be ok.

But! I need to grieve a bit now.

I'm sad that we can't go back to our house, which I loved. As we were leaving the house a year ago, I quietly prayed that we might all come back again safely. But I guess that's one prayer that won't be coming true.

I'm disappointed that I won't get the chance to learn more about Singapore and its people and cultures. Despite being happy living long-term in Thailand and having gotten over my TCK restlessness, I was a bit excited about moving to a new country :)

I mourn the freedom to go out on bike rides in clean air. 

I'll miss being able to speak in English!

I'm sad that I won't be able to sing again with Eudy, the brilliant choral master of the Singapore Symphony Chorus, or to perform at the Victoria Hall or the Esplanade.

I'm disappointed I won't be able to develop the friendships that I had just started on. 

I grieve that my son won't be able to join his friends again.

There's a small part of me that thinks maybe we will eventually manage to get back to Singapore -- and maybe the same house would be available again!

But no worries, I will eventually resign myself (to a perfectly great life in Bangkok).

I'll be ok. And I hope the kids will be ok.


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