To give or not to give "helpful" suggestions to people of less privilege
"Should I suggest to a foreigner that they change their name to make life easier for themself?" Answer: Don't. No matter how well-meaning.
"At work, I'm training a person from a foreign country who has a difficult name to pronounce and to remember. Should I suggest that it might make their life easier if they shortened their name, like others in earlier cohorts have?"
This question was raised by a (judging from the profile pic) white person from what I presumed to be an English-speaking country.
I recognize that this comes from a good place, that it's well-meaning, that the person who was asking was, as a trainer/mentor, trying to think of ways to make the adjustment easier for the trainee.
That was my calm, reasonable voice.
But my gut reaction was a vehement and furious "NO!!"
Suggesting that someone change their name to fit in screams condescension.
It tells them: "You are a foreigner, you aren't good enough for us as you are, you h…
"At work, I'm training a person from a foreign country who has a difficult name to pronounce and to remember. Should I suggest that it might make their life easier if they shortened their name, like others in earlier cohorts have?"
This question was raised by a (judging from the profile pic) white person from what I presumed to be an English-speaking country.
I recognize that this comes from a good place, that it's well-meaning, that the person who was asking was, as a trainer/mentor, trying to think of ways to make the adjustment easier for the trainee.
That was my calm, reasonable voice.
But my gut reaction was a vehement and furious "NO!!"
Suggesting that someone change their name to fit in screams condescension.
It tells them: "You are a foreigner, you aren't good enough for us as you are, you h…
